careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
