your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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