Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
