So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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