We won't sleep together?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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