Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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