I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize