Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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