i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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