he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
