Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
