if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i think my cat just said my name.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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