I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
