but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
