i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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