I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
