I think I just saw someone hide a body.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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