Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The air taste purple.
Randomize
