i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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