SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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