Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
