the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
