You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
