kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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