Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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