hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
