Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
