he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
