wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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