You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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