she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
