Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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