Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
