dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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