there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Randomize
