I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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