Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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