this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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