shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
