Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
