thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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