If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
