I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
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Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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