all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize