There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize