i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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