Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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