is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
