do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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