i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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