Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
