I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
