the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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