I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Terrible idea I love it
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
