Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize