turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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