A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
