Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
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