He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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