Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
