The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
