so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
