he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
