Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
