I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
