You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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